


Knives Hurt Less Than Silver Spoons

by D3st13l124, HSayre7953



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst, Canon Gay Relationship, Destiel - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Gen, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Minor Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Multi, On Hiatus, Other, Werewolf, Werewolf Dean Winchester, Werewolves, annoyingly short chapters, don't know how to tag, supposed death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-16 19:44:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8115130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D3st13l124/pseuds/D3st13l124, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HSayre7953/pseuds/HSayre7953
Summary: Dean was killed a long time ago, he was seventeen and full of hope, but John Winchester made a mistake. And now he's believed to be dead.Sam was on a hunt when he saw the familiar face he once knew, but it couldn't be real, right?And Castiel was an angel, from heaven to be exact, who he fell in love with a werewolf completely and totally.





	1. The 'Incident'

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH this is my first real work on here!!!!!!!!!!! Hope you like it. Sorry it sucks a little.

**The Winter of 1996**

**A Small Town in Pennsylvania**

John Winchester could be very brash, and though he wasn't stupid, he sure acted like it at times. He had found a small town one late night and decided to take his sons on a hunt for werewolves. Dean was pretty sure that it was too much this time, Sam was thirteen; he was too young to go after monsters like these, and Dean knew Sam could get eaten alive. When they arrived at Lupus Sarcina, Pennsylvania, Dean could already see the telltale signs of a werewolf pack.

Time had passed, and the Winchesters had been in this town for a month while the weather had steadily gotten colder, waiting for the full moon to arrive. Dean was teaching Sam the stuff that they missed when they left the last town before break started, showing him algebraic equations and scientific notation despite his brother's protests to read quietly. That's when he got the call. While he was arguing with Sam over math and reading, John Winchester phoned the library, asking for him.

"What do you mean? Sammy needs to be learning, we can't take him with us!"

"Dean, he has to go on a hunt eventually; we can't protect him forever," his father had replied, in the cold, serious tone he used when arguing was futile.

"He's thirteen, Dad! He should be in school, and right now I'm the only school he has!" Dean hissed into the phone, gaining him harsh looks from the librarian and Sam himself. Dean didn't argue much, but this was one thing he wouldn't let go without a fight.

"I can go! I'm ready!" Sam said excitedly, putting down his papers and worn down textbook.

"No, you can't, Sammy. Shut up," Dean told the anxious boy, "and you can't take him!" he added into the phone.

"Yes, I can, Dean, and you need to prepare him. This conversation is over."

"Fine!" Dean slammed the phone down and stormed back to the table Sam was sitting at. "If you're going on a hunt, you're finishing this chapter on quadratics afterwards. I'm checking every single question and answer, and if they're not right, I'm taking away your book about that one lawyer guy."

"Dean! I’m never going to use algebra when I become a lawyer," Sam protested, not willing to give up his book.

"You’d be surprised how much you’ll use it. Oh, and you're willing to die, but you can't give up a book?! Sammy, this could kill you!"

"It's Sam, and I'm not gonna die. Dad'll be there."

"Dad can't do everything, _Sammy_ ,” Dean emphasised Sam’s name. “He can't kill the werewolf and protect you at the same time. Your life is not his top priority on a hunt."

"That's why _you'll_ be there," Sam replied with certainty.

Dean couldn't reply; he didn't know how to reply because it was true. He would put Sam's life above his own, easy. "Right," Dean finally managed to answer. "Let's go."

* * *

"A cave. Ridiculous. The werewolves are hanging out in a cave, Sammy. No style, no originality. Just plain boring. This one will be easy, you'll see," Dean whispered to the nervous boy beside him. Gone was the confidence Sam had possessed in the library, and instead, Sam held the anxiousness Dean had when he started raising Sam.

"Yeah," Sam eased a bit, but Dean could still feel some tension coming from the boy. They stepped into the cave, which had a foul stench and beds laying everywhere. Three people sat inside, facing away from them, holding hands.

"We can't kill them yet," John began, holding up his gun with silver bullets inside. "We have to wait until they turn. They might not all be monsters."

Minutes passed until finally the screams began to ring. The people's skin began to fold over itself and their clothes ripped. They began to scream viciously, letting go of each other's hands. Their bones shifted beneath their skin, cracking and scraping against each other. The two younger Winchesters cringed while John tightened his grip on his gun, getting ready to fight. Soon, three massive wolves stood before them. They turned slowly, teeth bared, canines sharpened. One kicked off the ground towards John, aiming for his neck. John dodged, and shot the wolf, hitting its maw. The wolf cried out in pain as the other two barreled towards Sam and Dean, ready to kill. John yelled and shot at one of the wolves. It all seemed to move in slow motion; the bullet flew towards Sam. Dean screamed, running for his brother to use his own body as a shield. Before the bullet hit, Dean felt a sharp pain in his shoulder, a wolf's teeth lodged into him, ripping out a chunk of skin. Claws lodged themselves in Dean’s back and he was yanked back from his brother, tearing his skin. The bullet hit Dean's chest instead of the wolf, and the wolves jumped back when it made contact. The wolf’s venom surged through his veins, and the silver bullet nicked an artery. Dean thrashed around viciously before finally stopping, his pulse slowing and his breath shallow.

"No!" Sam screamed in horror, running towards his brother. John shot the remaining wolves and held Sam back, not letting him hold his brother like he wanted to.

* * *

A day later, Sam threw away his lawyer book, picking up the algebra textbook instead. He got every answer right, just as Dean had wanted.


	2. The Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seven years later, Sam is hunting a werewolf, as has become his specialty, when he sees a familiar face. But it can't be him. He died years ago. Right?

**Seven Years Later**

**Dunsmuir, California**

_A growl sounded through the trees. Sam looked up at his brother who had frozen at the sound, squeezing Sam's hand to signal that he should also calm himself. The woods slowly got quieter as the birds stopped singing and the bugs stopped buzzing. Soon, the only sound left behind was the rustling leaves and the brothers' quiet breaths. A stick snapped to their left and Dean shoved Sam away from the sound and a dark dog-like shape jumped out of the shadows. How something that large could be that stealthy, neither sibling knew, but that wasn’t exactly high up on their priority list. Dean ran holding onto Sam with one hand, his loaded gun in the other. He dragged his little brother ahead of him so that Dean was the one closer to the massive wolf, occasionally shoving Sam when he felt he was going too slow. They crashed through the woods, no longer caring to be silent. Leaves and twigs caught in Dean’s hair- Sam was still short enough to miss most of the branches- branches scraped his face. Suddenly, another wolf appeared ahead of them, forcing the two to an abrupt stop._

_“No, no nonono,” Sam whispered as Dean pulled him against a tree, using his own body as a shield to protect Sam from the supernatural creatures before them. They leaped forward at the same time, tearing into Dean as Sam stood pinned against the tree by an unseeable force. Sam’s horrified screams filled the air, mingling with Dean’s agonized ones as he tried to get away but he couldn’t and he started coughing up blood and stared at Sam accusingly-  
_

Sam woke with a start, jumping up from the bed, covered in a cold sweat. He took in a breath, trying to calm his racing heart.

“It was seven years ago. Get it together,” he whispered to himself under his breath. Yes, it had been seven years since that fateful night changed everything. Sam both hated hunting and wanted revenge for what had happened to his brother. John became colder and left Sam with Bobby, their only contact was when John dropped by for info on a hunt or to get stitched up, and the occasional phone call. Once Sam realized that a big part of Dean’s death had to do with John, he would’ve stopped calling, but Dean wouldn’t have wanted that. So Sam simply called less often. John made no comment, continuing to ignore most of Sam’s calls anyway. Sam excelled in reading, history, and, yes, algebra. He had made a promise to his brother and he had never brushed off his math homework as not important. He had earned a scholarship as a reward for his hard work. That had been two years ago. He and John didn’t talk anymore. Bobby still kept in contact, occasionally providing info for a werewolf hunt that was close by Sam; to him, they were they only ones that really counted. Now, sitting awake in a filthy motel bed in Dunsmuir, California, he knew he wouldn’t be able to get any sleep. Tomorrow was both a full moon and the anniversary of that night. 

Sam pulled off the covers and padded over to the bathroom, flipping on the light switch. He splashed his face with water, wondering what Jess was doing. He refused to think about Dean, so he thought about the girl with blond hair, blue eyes, and a fiery spirit to go along. She was in a few of his classes, Jessica. He smiled at the thought of her hair glinting gold in the sun, and of her smiling with her gorgeous blue eyes instead of with her lips which instead curled into playful smirks. When the hunt was over, he was going to ask her out. He hoped to God she would say yes. He had liked her for months now.

Sam looked up at himself in the mirror, eyeing his hair and the bags under his eyes critically. He sighed and walked out of the bright room, pulling out his guns and turning on the television. He wished that it was moonrise already.

 

* * *

 

 

Sam snuck through the woods, gun in hand. He had become an expert on hunting in forests like these; it was a big part of hunting werewolves. Sam knelt down next to a barely covered stash of clothes. A wallet empty of everything but a few dollar bills, a cell phone, and about five bracelets- one a black watch and one made of skull like beads- were the only possessions found among the clothing. Sam sighed and put them down, holding only the skull bracelet. Something was nagging him, something about the bracelet. He pocketed it and stood, continuing to stalk forward in the direction he had been going. A bright color flashed in the corner of Sam's eye. He turned and saw a shredded shirt along with ripped pants and shoes. Two werewolves. Sam looked around, suddenly far more alert. He hadn't prepared for two wolves. He began to quickly walk in the direction of the Impala he inherited on what would've been Dean's eighteenth birthday (Sam hadn't been allowed to drive it, but he still got to call it his).

He heard a low growling and turned to look at a stark white wolf with red eyes. An albino. It was huge. Sam lifted his gun to fire but in lunged forcing him to dodge and lose his gun.

"Shit!" Sam turned quickly only to be shoved back with a paw. Where did this hunt go so wrong? he thought to himself numbly as he connected to a trunk, falling limply to the ground. When Sam got his air back he looked around wildly for his gun. The monster before him stalking forward. A golden streak dashed forward, knocking into the white beast before him. Sam jumped back in surprise but after a while started inching forward having seen his gun. He glanced at the wolves sizing up the golden one that had seemingly come out of nowhere to fight the albino. No doubt they were fighting over which one was going to eat him. The albino was clearly on the offensive while the golden wolf simply seemed to be preventing the wolf from advancing forward, not inflicting any more injuries upon the albino than it needed to. The white wolf, however, was downright vicious, tearing at its golden counterpart without hesitation. Sam finally reached his gun and picked it up, aiming it at the albino. He pulled the trigger and watched as the albino fell from its place atop the golden wolf, a single hole in its chest.

The surviving wolf looked at Sam in shock as if it was asking him 'How could you?' Sam raised his gun towards the golden wolf but it turned it's head and was nudging the albino. Sam watched in amazement as it rippled at changed into a sixteen-year-old girl with platinum hair and surprisingly dark eyes. The golden wolf laid down next to her and stared at Sam with its unnervingly bright green eyes. Sam saw a glint of bronze in the wolf's fur and lowered his gun slightly to lean in a bit. What was revealed shocked him more than anything else that night had. It was an amulet depicting a warrior with horns.

Sam gasped staring at the golden wolf who had cocked its head at Sam, watching.

"Dean?"

A few beats of silence passed as the wolf changed.

"Who the fuck are you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so SO much for reading this through. As my friend wrote earlier, this is our first legitimate fic and we both really appreciate you guys for sticking around through this mess.


	3. The Wings That Follow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is an angel of the Lord. Seven years ago when a werewolf approached him for help, he didn't hesitate to offer his services. Since then he had taken in a few other wolves as well, creating a makeshift pack. When one of the wolves gets loose, Dean goes after her, leaving Cas to watch the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CASSSSSSSSSSSSSS CASTIEL GOD HE'S THE BEST. ENJOY~

**A Small House In Dunsmuir, California**

_"It'll just be a couple days, Cas. Don't worry, I'll be fine," Dean had said._

It had been three days, and Cas was starting to worry for Dean, who was just supposed to be getting Mary, who went rouge four days ago.  _Eventually, everyone goes crazy,_ Cas couldn't help but think, _i_ _t's like a disease._ The only one who hadn't cracked once was Dean, and Cas suspected why. His current theory was that Dean was determined to see his brother, even though he wouldn't recognize the boy's face; Dean kept himself up all night, reminding himself of the family he once had.

 

* * *

 

 

 _"_ _Help her, please!" Dean had pleaded, holding a small girl with platinum hair in his arms. "She's only nine!"_

_Castiel turned to look at Dean Winchester, the boy who would eventually grow up to save people, but, for now, he was just an eighteen-year-old who didn't know how to care for a young girl._

_"If I do this, she will never be human again, she will face the same curse you do," Cas looked at Dean, who held the sleeping girl in his arms, blood seeping from a wound in her stomach. The attack had been brutal, Dean had just barely stopped the rogue from killing the child. It's dead body lay a few yards away, hidden from sight by the bushes it had fallen into when it died._

_"Cas, please, she's just a kid. Help me fix her, help me fix them all." Dean couldn't stop a tear from falling down his face._

_Cas took the girl from Dean's arms and whispered in her ear. Dean shielded his eyes as a blinding light filled the room. When he opened his eyes, the girl had awoken, smiling, her injuries gone. Once her doe-like eyes had opened, the duo could see how dark they really were._

_"What's your name?" Cas asked, kneeling down to her level. Dean squeezed her arm gently._

_"I don't know. Don't know." She chanted, shaking her head. Cas frowned; that was not a good sign._

_"Well hun, how do you feel about 'Mary'?" Dean suggested._

_The little girl in his arms giggled and clapped her hands. She made eye contact with Dean and nodded slowly mouthing the name._

_"I like it."_

 

* * *

 

 

Cas jumped when the timer sounded, signifying the moon set. Cas looked to the front door, sighed and headed the opposite way towards the basement. 

"Are you decent?" he called through the door, pressing his ear against it. Cas heard a few mumbled words and some scurrying before finally, a child's voice answered. Cas took the keys unlocking the door, revealing a boy that looked about nine years old. His unkempt red hair had straw in it and dark shadows circled the child's blue eyes, making his freckles even more pronounced. 

"I'm sore, dirty, and I want a shower," the kid said rising up to his full height, which, granted, wasn't much. Cas raised his eyebrows, unimpressed. 

"Manners, Dylan."

Dylan shrugged, walking out of the room and up the stairs.

"When are Mare and Dean coming back? The shift is no fun without them. Deanie promised me that he had a surprise."

Cas, who had followed Dylan up the stairs and had been getting breakfast ready, slowed,  still carrying the empty eggshells in his hand. Cas shook his head and ignored the question, tossing the shells in the trash and moving to pick up the cheese. The only food he knew how to make was scrambled eggs with cheese, the Dean always said Sam had liked. Dylan stopped kicking his feet against the table and turned to face Cas, his pale eyes wide.

"They  _are_ coming back, right?" Again, the boy's question was met with silence. Cas cocked his head, picking up a wooden spoon. 

"Dean is."

A long silence followed, only filled by the sizzling in the frying pan and Dylan's breathing. Cas turned and looked the child in the eye. Dylan was paler than he had been a few seconds ago. His already big eyes had bugged out, his dark lashes almost touching his eyebrows. He had such a trusting and innocent expression. Dean had found this kid in the cage of a psycho who collected supernatural creatures and studied them, mainly in the form of a series of painful tests when Dylan was five years old. Thank God Dylan had only just been caught and hadn't yet experienced any of the horrors when he had been rescued. No one else had survived the man's experimenting. Dean wanted to return Dylan to his parents when he had realized that they had seen one of the changes and thought he was a devil child. Dylan's parents had given their son over the man to 'purify him of the demon possessing his body'. Cas was dreading that loss of innocence that was slowly, but surely, going to happen in a year or two when he realized _why_ his mommy and daddy weren't coming back.

Cas turned, turning on the stove and sliding the eggs into a plate he had prepared. He walked it over to the dining room table before sitting down opposite of Dylan.

"What about Mary?"

Cas looked away. Mary had gone rogue. His angelic powers could help the wolves change by will- with the exception of the full moon, of course- but it made for an even worse break. If he hadn't done anything, Dean, Mary, and Dylan would be foaming at the mouth every month. However, suppressing the wolf made it all the worse when it finally came back up. _The Break_ , as Dean hated calling it. After you were rogue and there was nothing he, nor anybody, could do to fix it. 

After a second, Cas answered, "Mary's growing up. She left to travel, and she isn't coming back. Either way, she told me to tell you she loved you." 

It wasn't a complete lie, it just wasn't the truth. Mary did indeed grow, whether it was into a rogue or into a college student wasn't specified so that was, technically, the truth. When Mary realized she would eventually break, she told Cas to tell everyone important to her that she loved them, as she thought Dean would break before her as he had been a wolf longer. When he didn't break, she relaxed and started making friends, thinking she had time. It was a tragic ending that Cas prayed wouldn't come to pass. 

Dylan stared at Cas with narrowed eyes for a few moments before shrugging and going back to his eggs.

The phone rang startling Cas. He jumped up and ran to pick it up.

"Dean?"

A pause on the other end of the line. 

_"Cas."_

"Are you alright? Tell me where you are."

 _"I'm fine. Don't come. I'll be a little longer,"_ Dean answered, an odd note had taken up residence in his voice.

"Alright. Come back soon, though. Dylan's worried. How's Mary?"

Dean breathed in and held his breath before slowly letting it out.

 _"She's gone. She's dead."_ Dean's voice broke halfway through his sentence.

"No," Cas breathed in horror, his voice significantly quieter than before. Cas realized that Dean was about to hang up, so he rushed forward, stumbling on his words, mixing a few. "Oh, andean?"

_"Yes?"_

"I love you."

_"You too."_

A beep sounded, saying that the call was over. Cas sighed and walked back to the table where Dylan had been drinking his juice.

"I'm going to go have a shower," was all he said before heading towards his room, leaving Cas alone with his thoughts. Dean was probably burning the body on his own, meaning Cas had nothing to do but wait, worrying. Dean would never have hurt Mary any more than necessary and Mary was the wolf now; no way she would've killed herself- her instincts were too strong. That left three possibilities: an accident, hunters, or Hunters. Both latter options would have been in the way in Dean's getting the body, though. Cas sighed. He would just have to trust Dean to take care of himself. Cas was more worried than ever when it came to Dean breaking. Mary had startled him back into the reality that these wolves, his pack, weren't invincible. Cas once again thanked God that wolves typically break during one of the moons. Dean was safe. Well, at least for another month.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. We're going to add Destiel stuff later, this is just establishing characters for now, and then we get to go wild. YUS~


	4. The Days Spent Singing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam realizes just how much his brother changed over the years. Dean mourns the loss of a girl who was like a daughter to him, and Cas finally meets the brother Dean talked so much about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like it! - HSsayre7953  
> Sorry, it took so long. Forgive us? *puppy dog eyes* -D3st13l124

" _Sam,"_ Dean started, his voice breaking as he ended the call. 

"Dean. I thought you were, dead... you were gone. Dad and I lost you. We haven't spoken in years, Dad had screwed up so bad." Sam shook his head, looking at Dean with his pleading eyes. Dean's eyes were filling up with tears; he nodded, and he bent down to stroke the girl's hair. Silence followed, the only noise was the few sniffles from Dean and the crunching of leaves. When he finally spoke again, it was in whispers. 

"Mary, oh, darling, please, wake up," he repeated, rubbing his eyes.

Sam watched as his brother broke down, guilt rising like a lump in his throat.

"I didn't know, Dean. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"Shut up, Sam. She was just a kid," Dean snapped, not looking at his brother.

Sam sat next to his brother, looking at the blonde with remorse. His brother began rocking back and forth, his eyes wet with unshed tears. "It's okay, Mary, 's okay. You'll be okay," he resumed his words, his voice tight with the effort of holding back tears. Dean began to lift the girl in his arms, finding difficulty in even moving. He walked over to a beautiful patch of grass that had been untainted, laying her down, singing softly.

"'S okay to sleep now, 'kay. Don't worry, Mare. I'm gonna take care of you. 'S okay."

"Dean, I didn't know. I didn't know." Sam rested his head in his hands. Dean stood and walked over to his brother, gripping his shoulder. 

"I wanna go home, Sammy." Dean let go of his brother and began walking out of the forest.

"I'll take you," Sam said, scrambling up after his lost and now found brother.

"Okay." 

* * *

Cas heard the roar of an unfamiliar engine before he saw the car. It was a 1967 Chevy Impala, the vehicle Dean used to talk so much about. Dean exited the passenger door, an unfamiliar man exiting the driver's side. Cas opened the door and got an armful Dean.

"Dean," Cas said, holding the man in his arms. Dean rested his head on Cas' shoulder and silently let the tears fall. Cas stroked Dean's hair and whispered softly, telling him that he would be okay, even though he knew better. Dean gripped Cas tighter than ever and hummed a song Cas was familiar with. Cas began to sing softly to Dean, causing Dean to hold him tighter, a soft sob escaping him.

"'M sorry, I'm so sorry."

The unfamiliar man stood awkwardly to the side, looking at his feet. After a few seconds, Dean pulled away.

"'mkay. I'm fine," Dean said, dragging a hand across his face. He inhaled deeply through his nose, nodding. "Be right back."

Dean pushed past Cas into the small house he had been calling home for years, leaving the man alone with Cas.

"Hello," was the only icebreaker Cas could come up with. 

"Hi," was the man's response. A few seconds passed then, "I'm Sam."

"Dean's brother."

Sam nodded and looked down at his feet again, studying them as if they were the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. An awkward silence took hold once again, almost flavoring the air.

"It's my fault."

"Is it? Did you purposely try to kill an innocent girl and hurt the brother you thought werewolves killed?"

"No1\\!" Sam exclaimed looking Cas in the eyes for the first time. "I would never."

"My point. Would you like to come in?" 

Sam hesitated before nodding, following Cas into the small house and ducking to avoid the low door entrance.

"You live here with," he hesitated before continuing, "Dean?"

Cas nodded. "I approached him when he was just a wolf for a few months. We quickly became what I like to call friends. We hadn't lived together until... until Mary. After her, we took in Dylan. I assume Dean didn't want innocent children who had been turned to go through the changes alone like he did."

Sam flinched behind him and Cas rushed on to fix the mistake he had made.

"He does not blame you. It was his choice not to go back to you and John Winchester. He didn't want to put you in danger; he was afraid he would hurt one or both of you during a shift."

"Yeah, about that, how does he control the shift?"

"That is largely due to both me and you. I am an angel of the Lord, well, was of the Lord."

"An angel of the Lord?!"

"Now I'm just an angel. I rebelled. He wasn't supposed to be turned, it wasn't in Heaven's plans for him. He was my charge, I had orders to watch but not intervene. After he was turned the angels decided it was no longer necessary for me to watch over him. I refused and defied them. That cut me off from much of their power, so I couldn't cure him so much as repress the disease.

"I did the same with both Mary and Dylan. However, it can only be held in check for a certain amount of time before the disease wins. We already lost a few of our makeshift 'pack'. Dean's the longest one I've seen go without breaking. That's where I believe you come in. He will deny this, but the reason I think he held on his because he wanted to see you all grown up."  _Finally seeing you may have consequences,_ is what Cas didn't say.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll update it soon, hopefully!


	5. Meeting One Another Once Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam discovers how much Dean's life really changed since he was attacked and left the family. However, that's not the only thing he learns. Cas really meets Sam and Dean find out just how much His baby brother has changed. Dylan doesn't understand why all the grown-ups are acting so strange around each other. Idiots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, SORRY we are so so very late.

"Do I look too good for you, Sammy? Am I making you jealous?" Dean quipped, calling Sam out on his staring.

"Wha- I, huh?" Sam sputtered.

Cas leaned in as if telling a secret. "That was a joke. He thinks your staring is strange. Apparently it's not just me."

It had been an hour since Sam and Dean arrived at Dean's home. Dean had a shower and had started making dinner in that time. As soon as he had started cooking, Sam had begun hovering, examining his brother as if memorizing is features. He had almost forgotten about Cas, he was so quiet and Dean was so... alive. Sam still couldn't believe it but he had his reservations. Either that wasn't his brother in which case he would torture the thing impersonating him for daring to touch Dean's memory, or Dean was living with a crazy man (angel?). So he had been watching.

"Thanks, Cas. He never would've figured that out by himself," Dean replied before Sam could thank him. A kid burst through the door, relieving the tension.

"Wow, out of your room by choice. You okay, Dylan?" Dean asked, turning to get plates.

"I smelled food. So food."

"As long as you're here, set the table."

Dean smirked when Dylan's mouth dropped open. Sam looked down; it was the same smirk Dean used to give him when his reaction was amusing. After a brief staring contest, Dylan sighed and pulled out three glasses. He grabbed a beer bottle from the fridge before turning to Sam.

"What do you want for drinking?"

"Um, beer, please. I really need a beer." Dylan raised an eyebrow at Sam's answer, before grabbing another beer. It was amazing how much body language he seemed to have picked up from Dean.

Dean walked around the island and set the table. He hesitated over one chair before placing the plate in another spot. Cas looked away Dylan hesitated before he put the drinks down. It took a second before Sam realized what Dean had done. He had left Mary's seat empty. When Cas realized that Dean wasn't moving, he picked up the pot placing it on the table.

"Dinner is ready," Cas said after a second.

 

* * *

 

Dinner was extremely awkward, though Sam didn't know what he expected. He picked at the spaghetti Dean had made. They were delicious and under ordinary circumstances he would've wolfed them down; he didn't think he could stomach it this time. The guilt was eating away at him. Dean was also picking at his food and Cas didn't even touch his. Dylan was the only one who clearly wasn't troubled; he was stuffing his face. After a few minutes, he slammed down his fork, took a sip of water and turned his eyes to the adults, clearly asking for attention.

"What's up with you guys? Deanie, you've been way to quiet, Cas isn't even pretending to eat, and there's a weird tall guy here that neither of you have explained."

Dean raised his eyebrows at Dylan, looking surprised at the outburst. Cas simply cocked his head to the side and Sam shifted uneasily.

"That's Sam, Dean's brother."

"Deanie has a brother?" Both Sam and Dean flinched at the question. Dean raising his beer to his lips, chugging the rest.

"Can I leave?" Dylan asked when he became aware of the tension that was so thick it felt as if it was pressing down on the group. Dean nodded mutely. Dylan was almost out the door before he called out, "Come back for pie, Dylan." Dylan waved of the group without turning back, leaving the adults to themselves again. This time, however, Dean had gotten over his shock of seeing Sam and decided to find out what had happened after her had left.

"How have you been?" Dean internally cringed at how forced and stilted the question had sounded. Sam paid it no mind, instead answering like it was normal.

"Good. I've actually settled down up in Palo Alto. Going to Stanford there."

Dean smirked, "You have a girl?" When Sam blushed, Dean began grinning, no longer forcing himself to.

"What's she like?"

Sam looked at Cas as if for help but the angel had already set his piercing gaze on Sam, curiosity just barely lighting up his features.

"I haven't, you know. Asked her yet," he stuttered, suddenly feeling like a twelve year old. Dean chuckled lightly. Cas turned to watch Dean, a barely visible smile lighting up his face. However the love in his eyes was as clear as day; he looked at Dean as if the man had hung the moon. Sam felt his heart swell. Not only was Dean alive and well, but he had found peace, a family. His brother had found love.

"Sammy, you got to ask her! You're practically a middle schooler. Have I taught you nothing?"

Sam just chuckled in response. Dean straightened in his seat, suddenly serious. "Where's Dad?" he asked, worry coloring his tone as if he had just remembered.

Sam also sat up, leaning back. "You were- you were dead. It was his fault. He got into hunting instead of putting us first and that led to you _dying_. We didn't know you were here. Happy. Dad started drinking. He got reckless. Was harsher, colder. Started leaving me coordinates of where to meet him. I spent more time alone than with him. Never spent more than two weeks in one place." Sm trailed off, losing himself in a memory.

 

* * *

 

 

 _They didn't know where Dean's body had been dragged off to so they weren't able to give him a proper funeral, a_ hunter's _funeral. Dad had been more distant of late, drinking far more often. Sam had had to start pouring out the whiskey in small increments as to stop him from drinking so much. Sam was so angry though. And it just kept building. It was Dad's fault that Dean was- that Dean had-that the accident had happened, and he was practically living in a bottle, pretending all was well with Sam. But it wasn't. Things were a far cry from okay and Sam didn't think the rift building between him and his father would ever mend itself._

_One day, however, Sam woke up to silence instead of the sound of Dan vomiting in the toilet due to a hangover. Sam jumped up, searching the room. He had just lost his brother, he couldn't lose his dad. Sam found a note left in the kitchenette._

_Hunt_

_Be back in a week_

_Dad_

_Sam crumpled the note, throwing it across the room. His dad hadn't even asked. If something happened, Sam would have no one left. He picked up the money under the note. A hundred. That's all the man had left him. A hundred dollars for food_ and _rent. After a week, Sam only had twenty three dollars and fifty three cents left. John hadn't returned the day her arrived or the day after- no shocker there. However, Sam got a text on his new phone; coordinates. Sam scoffed angrily at the text. He had set out by noon, opting to skip school and check out of the motel to save. How Dean managed to never run out of money, even in places with no pool halls, was beyond him. Sam decided to hitch hike as no bus traveled that far and a taxi would cost too much. Sam stood on the side of the road for a while, his heart pounding, his head going through everything he had heard about serial killers who picked their victims from hitch hiking. Dean had always said that until he was older, that hitch hiking should be his last resort. "You never no what kind of psychos are willing to pick up a couple of kids from the streets to add them to their 'collection'." When Sam asked where he got the collection idea, Dean stiffened and had told him not to worry about it._

 _Sam, being Sam, worried about it. He had dissected Dean's every move, trying to find an alternative to what he had come to the conclusion of. But every time he thought of that moment all he could see was the time his Dad had brought home a bloody, shaky, in shock-y Dean when Dean had been late getting somewhere._ _Luckily, Sam was picked up by a road tripping family and made it to the coordinates; room nineteen of the Sun Spot Motel. And the chase began. Sam would enroll at school, faking the signatures before he was forced to leave again. Every once in a while, he would find his dad. Most times, John was drunk._

_Then came the fateful day he quit following his dad around; he had been sixteen. He was emptying a whiskey bottle when John came back early. Sam had never seen his dad so angry. John had ripped the bottle out of Sam's hands, and broke it on the wall behind him, glass raining down._

_"Going behind my back!  Your brother never would have failed so bad. It's your fault he's dead! You're useless. A dead weight. So disrespectful. Your brother...." John trailed off, shaking his head. He hadn't said Dean's name since the accident._

_"Dad, Dean, he never would have wanted this! You drinking the days away, me completely alone 100% of the time. Dean would be disappointed-"_

_John backhanded Sam across the face, sending Sam stumbling back into the wall before slipping on a shard of glass and impaling his hand._

_"Dad," Sam whispered. He had never been hit by his father; sparing didn't count._

"Don't you ever speak of him that way! You have no right to! Get out!" _John screamed, getting in Sam's face._

_Sam recoiled in shock and hurt. "Dad..." he whispered again._

_"_ And don't come back! _" Sam had scampered out, leaving everything behind. He got to a pay phone, tears forming in his eyes. He dialed the familiar number he should've dialed four years ago. There was a click as the other line picked up._

_" **Hello?** "_

_"Bobby?"_

_" **Sam? Is that you, boy?** "_

_Sam nodded before remembering that Bobby couldn't see. "Yeah. Can you pick me up? And- can I- can I stay?" The last part was whispered._

_The was a heavy sigh and rustling on the other end. " **Of course, Sam. You're welcome here as long as you want, anytime. Where are you?**_ _"_

_Sam sighed in relief. He would finally have someplace safe._

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both HSayre7953 and I have a huge project the entire next month. It's why we're so late. We'll update if we can, don't be surprised if we don't; be surprised if we do.


	6. The Days That Follow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! It's HSayre7953. I decided to update this time, so I hope you don't hate it. So, please enjoy, and try to smile today.

Dean wanted to crush the table under him, feel the wood splinter into his skin as he listened to Sam recount his days with John. Sam was never supposed to learn the tricks of the trade, he was supposed to leave this life behind. At least he went to Stanford, got a girl. He never quite understood what Sam knew, but it was better than what Dean knew himself.

"I haven't spoken to Dad in a few years, actually. It was mostly Bobby, he was the one who took me in," Sam said as if it was nothing to him. Dean felt his fist slam on the surface below him, sending a wave of shock up Sam and Cas' spines. 

"Dean, if you need him to stop you can just say so." Cas' voice was so calming to Dean, helping him ease his shoulders and slow his breathing. 

"It's fine, Cas. I'll be okay." 

"As I was saying, I still call him. I just don't get a reply." Sam moved in his seat, looking down and trying not to show pain. "I don't care too much. It was probably the drinking anyways." 

Dean stood up, not wanting to hear another word, and walked out silently. Cas called after him softly before trailing after him slowly, leaving Sam alone.

"Hi, mister!" Dylan yelled, running towards the fridge and pulling out the Pecan Pie. 

"Hi... uh, Dylan, right?" Sam watched as the small boy pulled out four plates and began to cut into the pie.

"That's right!" It was as if Dylan was still innocent, unlike Dean at that age. Sam stood up to help the kid as if he could prevent the kid from growing up too quickly. 

"So, what grade are you in?" Sam asked, desperately trying to find some common ground with Dylan.

"I don't- I'm not in a grade. I don't really... go to school, mister." Sam took a sharp intake of breath, flashing back to Dean fighting for Sam's right school, something he was never grateful for until now. "I was supposed to go, but I... I sort of freaked out one day." Dylan turned away with plates in his hand, walking up the stairs in the house. "Enjoy your pie!"

* * *

"Deanie?" Dylan's voice carried through the locked door, making both Cas and Dean's head shoot up. "I know you're in there."

"Not right now, Dylan." It killed Dean to tell Dylan to leave, but he couldn't quite wrap his head around what happened to Sam, and he couldn't stop blaming himself.  _What could I have done?_

"Nothing, Dean," Cas stated, a sad sort of look in his eyes, "this isn't your fault."

"If I hadn't of tried to protect him, maybe I could have..."

"This isn't your fault. It's John's, Dean. Nothing can change that."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short, but nothing's been updated in a while! Sorry if it sucks, but I'm willing to take suggestions.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some dialogue, get a glimpse at Sam and Dean's life before Dean gets turned, a couple short flashbacks, look into Dean's psyche.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in AGES. I bet you forgot I existed, but don't worry, I never forget. -HSayre7953

"There's been a sighting," Sam woke up to Cas' voice which held bouts of concern, "I read it in the news, a teenager this time"

"Are we gonna check it out?" Dean's voice was calm, more composed than Cas' as if he'd delt with this more often. Dean was already dressed and prepared for the day, his eyes were red though and he looked like the sleep he did get wasn't enough. 

"I would assume so, it's not like we're doing anything else..." Cas trailed on, glancing over to Sam who had sat up. "Are we going to..."

"We need someone to watch Dylan, so no, Cas, we won't take him. Sam'll do fine." Dean didn't even look towards Sam and his gestures were bland. "We'll leave in thirty minutes." Pain was held in Dean's eyes, his heart pounding against his chest. Everything he endured for Sam was taken away from him. by John. The bastard that started it all. Dean knew he shouldn't blame himself for it all, but he couldn't look Sam in the eyes. He blamed himself for more than he could take, and he knew he had to leave before he became his own downfall. 

* * *

"Sam, as you know, we're leaving you with Dylan." Sam nodded his head, a clear sign for Castiel to explain more. "Dean says that you were a... well-educated kid. I'm leaving you with curriculum for him, we're having him learn at home so that we don't have any... mishaps. Today, you'll teach him math and some history if you feel up to it"

"Sure, I wouldn't mind. He's a sweet kid."

* * *

 

Dean held his breath as he walked through the forest, Cas trailing slowly behind him with determined steps. They had tracked the girl deep into the woods, the dark slowly creeping up on them as they stepped uncertainly over leaves and twigs that snapped when they made mistakes, cracking under heavy weights they couldn't help to have. Their breaths were deep and calculated, ready for the attack that would surely come, but still scared. The fear never went away, it was just suppressed even better than the last time, an unending cycle of find, help, teach, a cycle that could break at any second if it wasn't cautiously drawn out every second. This time, it was a girl, around sixteen, which meant that she was either turned recently, or worse, this wasn't the first time. Dean prayed that it was the first time, it would mean she was less likely to break if they got to her. 

Cas watched as Dean suddenly went to a halt, eyes tracing the surroundings. They were no longer alone together. 

CRACK

"There's been a sighting," Sam woke up to Cas' voice which held bouts of concern, "I read it in the news, a teenager this time"

"Are we gonna check it out?" Dean's voice was calm, more composed than Cas' as if he'd dealt with this more often. Dean was already dressed and prepared for the day, his eyes were red though and he looked like the sleep he did get wasn't enough.

"I would assume so, it's not like we're doing anything else..." Cas trailed on, glancing over to Sam who had sat up. "Are we going to..."

"We need someone to watch Dylan, so no, Cas, we won't take him. Sam'll do fine." Dean didn't even look towards Sam and his gestures were bland. "We'll leave in thirty minutes." Pain was held in Dean's eyes, his heart pounding against his chest. Everything he endured for Sam was taken away from him. by John. The bastard that started it all. Dean knew he shouldn't blame himself for it all, but he couldn't look Sam in the eyes. He blamed himself for more than he could take, and he knew he had to leave before he became his own downfall.

"Sam, as you know, we're leaving you with Dylan." Sam nodded his head, a clear sign for Castiel to explain more. "Dean says that you were a... well-educated kid. I'm leaving you with curriculum for him, we're having him learn at home so that we don't have any... mishaps. Today, you'll teach him math and some history if you feel up to it"

"Sure, I wouldn't mind. He's a sweet kid."

Dean held his breath as he walked through the forest, Cas trailing slowly behind him with determined steps. They had tracked the girl deep into the woods, the dark slowly creeping up on them as they stepped uncertainly over leaves and twigs that snapped when they made mistakes, cracking under heavy weights they couldn't help to have. Their breaths were deep and calculated, ready for the attack that would surely come, but still scared. The fear never went away, it was just suppressed even better than the last time, an unending cycle of find, help, teach, a cycle that could break at any second if it wasn't cautiously drawn out every second. This time, it was a girl, around sixteen, which meant that she was either turned recently, or worse, this wasn't the first time. Dean prayed that it was the first time, it would mean she was less likely to break if they got to her.

Cas watched as Dean suddenly went to a halt, eyes tracing the surroundings. They were no longer alone together.

CRACK

Sticks were being broken, a good distance away. The smell of sweat covered fur met Cas' nose, a smell he had encountered before. Dean scrunched his nose up as he searched for the girl, most likely a wolf at the moment, which would make capturing her and helping her much harder. The scent of sweat, fresh carcass, and an indistinct desire to kill mixed together approached the two of them.

A brown wolf lunged towards Dean’s shoulder as Dean barely moved out of the way. The wolf, the girl, bared her teeth, showing vicious incisors that could cut through steel like butter. Swiping with her claws, the wolf made an attempt at Cas' guts. Cas stepped back, a pool of blood forming on his leg, a shallow injury. Dean grunted, moving quickly into his wolf form, matching the girl head on with fierceness, biting into her side, making sure to get her in an area that wouldn't affect her when she woke up. She passed out as expected, shifting into a teenage girl with thin brown hair and a light dusting of freckles across her pert nose. 

_ "Cas, we gotta..." _ Dean trailed on in his thoughts, unsure how to continue. 

"I'll move her Dean, don't worry about her." Cas lifted her in his hands as if she were only ten pounds, and in a moment he was gone, the girl with her. Dean began the move through the woods, his paws heavy and his every muscle tired. He wouldn't be able to transform back for at least a day. He transformed too fast. It took too much energy. Anyway, he had to get back to the car. Despite the fact that it wasn't his Baby- Dean had had to leave the Impala behind after he was turned- driving the 1965 Mustang was still relaxing, so Dean insisted they drive to the girl instead of flying in. Cas would meet him at the car and take both him and the car back, while practicing his driving.

Dean was so lost in thought that he didn't sense the shadow watching him from the trees.

Dean remained in wolf form, uncomfortably walking around the house with Cas trailing after him, trying to heal him up while healing his leg, a sigh always on his lips. Dean heaved his head onto couch next to Dylan, demanding to get affectionately scratched on the ears while Sam moved around him uncomfortably, unsure how to rekindle what they had as kids. Dylan, of course, was a happy kid, always telling Sam new facts and information he's learned. Sam had seen Dylan in wolf form a few times; he was practically a puppy. The girl that Deana and Cas had found was fully clothed and in the spare bedroom Sam was supposed to use, and she hadn't woken up yet. According to Cas, she would wake up any minute now, but she had yet to twitch. Since they didn't know her name, Dean had taken to calling her Sleeping Beauty, which rubbed off on Cas. When Sam caught wind of the nick name, he changed it to Aurora.

Dean seemed to smirk, an impressive feat while in wolf form, when he found out why.

"Dean is wondering if you could be anymore gay," Cas stated one morning, leaving the kitchen right after to wake Dylan up for breakfast, leaving Sam gaping at the counter.

It was only on the third night of Sam's stay- just after Dean and Cas arrived home from their not-hunt-  that something truly out of the ordinary- well,  _ Dean's _ ordinary- seemed to happen. There wasn't any warning that Sam could've seen, but then he wasn't there the night it started. So Sam went along with Dean's schedule. He ate dinner with the small family- though the empty chair and burnt toast Cas prepared didn't really scream family or dinner- and after free time, which consisted mostly of petting Dean while Dr. Sexy M.D. was blaring on the TV, he went to bed.

_ "Why are you going out again Dean?" Sam asked, his five year old eyes looking up at his big brother, who looked too tired, too old, too haunted for a nine year old.  _

_ "Dad wants me to." Dad always took Dean out, it wasn't fair.  _

_ "Dean! Get your ass down here!" John Winchester's booming voice echoed through the house, and Dean shuddered, just a little bit. Sam could hardly tell. Hardly.  _

_ "Why can't I come?" Sam whispered following Dean as he started making his way down the decaying stairs. _

_ "Because you aren't old enough yet, Sammy."  _

_ "That's not fair." _

_ "I'll be back by the time you wake up." _

_ Sam lightly stomped his foot and crossed his arms, staring up at Dean, a pout on his face. _

_ "Pinky promise you won't leave me to be 'lone?" _

_ Dean stopped and stooped down a little to look Sam in the eye. "I promise, Sam. Nothing will ever stop me from protecting you." _

_ Sam paused for a minute before giving Dean the Lucky Charms prize he had hidden in his pocket. Dean gave Sam a small smile, slipping the ring on his thumb. _

_ "DEAN. Do I need to get you!" John yelled out again; it was less of a question and more a demand. Dean jumped up and started towards the stairs again. _

_ "Don't touch the stove, Sammy. Just watch a little TV and head to bed. Stay on PBS Kids, and turn it off after. Bye!" he called behind him. Sam only started crying when the door slammed shut. The scene began to shift. The crying Sammy shifted into how Sam looked now, twenty years old. The foreclosed house shifted into Dean and Cas' current one. Sam looked around puzzled. He didn't remember this. He jumped when the master bedroom door flew open, Cas ran past Sam, looking around desperately. _

_ "Dean? Dean! Dean, where are you?" Cas' desperate cries filled the air, echoing against the walls of the house. Dylan wandered down and asked the question Sam so desperately wanted to ask but couldn't: "What's happening?" _

_ "He broke," Cas whispered, pausing. Without his frenzied movements, Sam could see the angel trembling. No. No no no nonono. It wasn't possible a thumping seemed to fill Sam's head and he wasn't able to hear Dylan's next words. The thumping was too loud, echoing around  _ the house. Cas stumbled down the stairs in the pajamas that Dean made him wear, heading to answer the door. Sam rubbed at his eyes before standing up to follow. Dean padded along behind the, and hid in the shadows when Cas reached for the door knob.

Sam gasped and when he felt Dean exhale sharply by his hip, he knew that Dean recognized the man at the door as well. But it couldn't be.

"Dad?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Give feedback, please and thank you. I really appreciate you reading my annoying ass updates.[  
> EDIT: I FORGOT ALL THIS SHIT PLEASE READ WE BOTH HAD SOMETHING IN THIS BTW

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter comes out soon I hope. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS TRASH


End file.
